Title: Loving You
Length: 12 of ??
Pairings: Junchun (main), JunhoxYoochun (beginning), Yunjae
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys. This story is the work of missvue09 (aka miss_yoosu on winglin). Any resemblance to another fanfic is absolutely coincidental.
Summary: Junho chose Yoochun over his family when his father gave him an ultimatum. After two years of no contact with his family, he is finally returning home with his husband (Yoochun) to visit his mother in the hospital. Will they welcome Yoochun with open arms?
A/N: This chapter was difficult to write because I'm not used to writing angst. A big thank you to hananoona and sheilapiglet for their input and feedback, particularly Hana who inspired me to update and helped write the conversation between Jaejoong and Yoochun. Thank you very much, ladies! I couldn't have done this without you.
Character Profile Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Fictitious characters
Mr. Kim = Kim Sung Ho
Mrs. Kim = Kim Hee Jin
Dr. Jung = Jung Junjin
Note: Yunjae and the Kim twins are two years older than Yoochun in the fic.
Some time later Yoochun had managed to leave the library. His body did not feel like his own. His mind was filled with a range of emotions after what just occurred, yet it was still able to function and get him back into his room. When he shut the door behind him, he leaned against it, then stared at the door that connected his and Junsu's bedrooms. They had never once used it. He took timid steps towards the door and put his ear up against it. There was nothing but silence on the other side. Yoochun reckoned Junsu must have passed out already.
He let out a breath he had been holding before turning around and going to lie in his own bed. A few strands of hair fell in front of his right eye as he settled beneath the covers. He reached up and pushed them back behind his ear. He leaned against the plush pillow and headboard, telling himself that he should be celebrating at the fact that Junsu had admitted to caring about him. However, the confusion caused by Junsu’s kiss was preventing him from doing so.
Yoochun’s finger traced his lips lightly, trying to remember what it felt like to be kissed by Junsu. It was his first kiss since Junho passed away, and it was with his husband’s brother of all people. He turned slightly to the right, to face the framed photo of Junho that was sitting on the night drawer. He picked up the photo frame and set it on his lap, his back resting against his pillow and headboard once more.
Each night Yoochun would caress his husband’s face and talk a little about his day before going to sleep. But tonight was different. Yoochun couldn’t bring himself to speak. He kept staring at the photo until a teardrop rolled down each of his cheeks. It was then that he realized he had been crying, the first time in a while. He was missing his husband's presence very much right now.
“Oh, Junnie…” he sobbed quietly as he hugged the photo against his chest.
Kim Su Ho approached the breakfast table and noticed only his wife was present.
“Are the boys not joining us this morning?” he inquired after a good morning greeting.
"Only Yoochun. He’s having breakfast with Kim Jaejoong-sshi this morning concerning the charity banquet. Mrs. Lee is checking on Junsu right now."
The two of them ate comfortably and talked about the progress of the upcoming banquet before their housekeeper returned.
"Mr. and Mrs. Kim.”
The pair turned their attention towards their housekeeper.
“Junsu-sshi is not feeling very well this morning. Would you like for me to call his physician?"
"How bad is he feeling?" Sung Ho asked.
The older woman looked a bit uneasy. “I could be wrong, but I think Junsu-sshi is suffering from a hangover. While I was doing my daily room check-ups this morning, I’ve noticed that the bottle of whiskey in the library was lower than it was last night.”
The couple looked at each other, both wondering what could have provoked their son to drink that much.
Junsu, now awake in bed, had yet to open his eyes. He had only one thing—or person—on his mind: Park Yoochun.
The younger had appeared in his dreams last night. Junsu couldn’t understand why it had to be Yoochun of all people. In the dream, the hotelier had expressed his feelings of resentment he’s had for the past two years. In the moment of things, they had shared a kiss. What shocked Junsu more was the fact that he had been the one to initiate the kiss.
Junsu never liked dreams, because dreams were confusing. Were they to be taken literally or metaphorically? Or were they to be dismissed completely?
He felt his head starting to spin. He groaned as he brought a hand up to massage his temple in an attempt to ease the dizziness. He reckoned it was his brain telling him to stop thinking such deep thoughts so early in the morning.
“Hey,” he heard his physician’s soothing voice. The young doctor had been sitting in a chair beside the bed for a while now watching over Junsu, believing that he was asleep.
“You feeling alright?” he asked.
"No, genius," Junsu managed to get out of his dry mouth. It was less painful than shaking his head no.
“Glad to know you still have your sense of humor,” Yunho commented.
A small smile appeared on the hotelier’s face.
“Your mom called me over. Your parents are very worried; they’ve never seen you like this before. And I have to admit, neither have I,” Yunho stated, concern in his tone.
Junsu dropped his arm back down to his side on the bed, his eyes still shut. He showed no sign of leaving his bed. He was physically and mentally exhausted.
“I understand the stress you must be going through right now,” Yunho spoke lowly. “You don't have to shoulder all of this on your own, Junsu-sshi. You know that Jaejoong and I are here for you if you need us to do anything, right?”
Junsu didn't reply. It had been quiet lately, he thought. There had been no contact of any sort from that man since that night. However, hearing the informality of Jaejoong's name coming out of Yunho's mouth only reminded Junsu why he had been drinking last night. How the man he secretly loved was in love with another man. He remembered heading straight for that bottle of whisky in the library after reaching home. Anything after that was a blank.
He thought back to the first time he had a hangover. He didn’t remember very much from that night as well except that it was the night Junho left home and the first time he met Jaejoong. The morning after, he found himself in the home of the beautiful bartender. He vaguely recalled dreaming about Jaejoong and kissing him in it as well. Junsu wondered why he couldn’t have that dream again this second time around. Lord knows that the chances of him kissing Jaejoong in real life were slim now. The least he could do was dream about it at least.
The hotelier smiled as he reminisced of the days he started crushing on Jaejoong. He had been an incredible friend to Junsu during his time of need. These feelings eventually developed into love but only on his part. He never knew how Jaejoong felt until yesterday’s revelation.
The two men heard a soft knock on the door before Hee Jin walked in.
“Has he awaken yet?” she whispered to Yunho.
“Neh, Umma,” Junsu answered for Yunho. “Please let Aboji know that I will be late to work today.”
“Oh, no. You are staying right here till you recover, mister. And that’s an order from your father, not just me.”
Junsu wasn’t in the mood to argue and decided to obey his parents.
“Where is Yoochun-sshi this morning, Mrs. Kim?” Yunho asked as subtly as he could.
Junsu wanted to scoff, but he, too, was wondering where his brother-in-law was. He hated to admit it, but he was a little curious as to why Yoochun had yet to make an appearance in his room to check on him. It was not like Yoochun. Junsu couldn’t believe that he actually knew this much about his brother’s lover.
“He’s having breakfast with Jaejoong-sshi this morning.” Hee Jin didn’t explain any further. If Jaejoong follows through with his promise, then she wanted it to be a surprise for the two young men when they attend the charity banquet.
Junsu mentally frowned. Yoochun wasn’t home? He was having breakfast with Jaejoong? What for? Then he snapped his eyes open at the realization that Yoochun and Jaejoong were together. It was the perfect opportunity for the perpetrator to make his move. He scrambled out of bed and nearly tripped on his way to his bathroom with his phone, claiming that he needed to vomit so as to not raise any suspicions from his mom.
Yunho realized this fact as well and turned to ask Mrs. Kim, before she could follow Junsu into the bathroom, to please bring a glass of water for her son. The woman thought nothing of it and left the room.
A few minutes later, Junsu walked out of his bathroom. Judging by how calm Junsu was standing there, Yunho assumed that he could not have bad news.
“They’re at Jaejoong’s house, not anywhere public, so they’re both fine,” Junsu explained.
Yunho sighed, relieved as well.
Yoochun had so many questions about last night’s incident, but he didn’t know how much of it Junsu would remember. He couldn’t begin to imagine how awkward that conversation would be if his brother-in-law didn’t remember a thing.
The best way to get any answer would be from Junsu’s best friend, Yoochun told himself as he looked at said man sitting across the table from him. Before he could ask though, he had to finish what he was set out to do by his mother-in-law.
The main event at the Hugs & Kisses charity banquet had always been the auction. Yoochun was surprised to learn that men and women volunteered to be auctioned off and go on a date with the highest bidder when he first worked at the banquet four years ago. The dinner had always been held at the Aria as well.
This year, Mrs. Kim was hoping to add Jaejoong to the list as she had tried to do last year. He is a handsome—beautiful, even—bachelor who could bring in lots of money for the organization. Not that she wanted to exploit his good looks, but Hee Jin also wanted Jaejoong to start dating so that he could settle down.
“You can’t back out this time, Jaejoong-sshi. Mrs. Kim told me that you promised you’ll do it this year,” Yoochun smiled.
The man leaned forward. “Let me tell you one thing about Kim Jaejoong. When he makes a promise, he keeps it.” He then sat back in his seat and announced, “So you can tell Mrs. Kim that I will be up there on that stage that night.”
Yoochun chuckled before thanking the man across from him on behalf of his mother-in-law. Now that business was out of the way, he didn’t know where to begin. Since the timing wasn’t quite right yet, Yoochun decided to wait a little longer before bringing up Junsu. And so, he kept the topic on the Hugs & Kisses charity banquet.
Yoochun learned that the bar owner started attending the annual dinner two years ago, a few months after he and Junsu became friends, the same year Junho left home. Hee Jin almost canceled the dinner that year, but Jaejoong kindly volunteered his time to organizing the event for her. It was at the night of the banquet when Jaejoong first laid eyes on Jung Yunho (and had been smitten with him since).
Jaejoong’s cell phone rang, interrupting their conversation. He picked up his phone and checked the caller ID.
“It’s Junsu. Hang on a sec.” He stood up to speak somewhere more private.
Yoochun couldn’t help but wonder what the two of them were discussing over the phone. Nevertheless, he thought this was the perfect time to bring up the questions he had about Junsu.
“Jaejoong-hyung…” he started timidly when the older man returned to the dining table. He wrapped his hands around his coffee mug to keep them from sweating. “Junsu has been acting a little different lately. Almost like he’s been avoiding me. I was wondering if you might know what is causing this behavior. Did I do something to upset him in any way?”
Jaejoong sighed. It was time Yoochun know the truth about a few things. “No, you didn’t do anything to upset him, Yoochun. The night you were in the E.R. for your allergic reaction was the night the perpetrator revealed who his real target was.”
“It’s not me?” Yoochun couldn’t refrain from asking.
Jaejoong shook his head no. “It’s Junsu,” he revealed, causing a gasp to escape from Yoochun’s lips. “He’s been the target all along. The bastard has only been targeting you at first to get under Junsu’s skin.”
Yoochun was too shocked to speak.
“The reason why he’s been avoiding you--and me--is because he believes that you’ll be safer with his parents and away from him.”
Yoochun frowned. “But wouldn’t that just put our parents in danger? Why would Junsu think that's a good idea?”
Jaejoong explained further, “Not necessarily. Junsu received a call from that bastard and he gave off the impression that he would not hurt Junsu’s parents. Pretty admirable in my opinion. But anyway, we think it would be safer if you do not leave your mother-in-law’s side anytime you’re not with me nor Yunho. Do you understand?”
The long-haired man nodded, still taking in the news that his brother-in-law’s life was in danger.
“Has he gone to the police?” he asked.
Jaejoong rolled his eyes. “Pfft. Of course not. He says that he has everything under control, so for now, we’ll just have to trust him.”
Yoochun didn’t seem convinced though. He couldn’t stop worrying about his dear brother-in-law.
“Junsu cares about you very much, Yoochun,” Jaejoong’s voice made him look up. “Everything he is doing is for your own safety. Never forget that, okay?”
“Does he really? If he does, then he has a weird way of showing it.”
The bar owner frowned. “Why do you say that? Did something happen?”
Jaejoong listened attentively as Yoochun described last night’s incident, all the way up to the part where Junsu kissed Yoochun.
“I don’t understand him at all, hyung. One minute he’s frustrated about how he’s constantly worried about me and cares about me and then the next, he’s upset with me for taking Junho away. And why did he kiss me? Was it really just out of gratitude? Or is there another meaning behind that kiss? I just don’t know what to think anymore. What do you think, hyung? Have you ever seen him drunk like that? Or been kissed out of the blue?”
Jaejoong couldn’t stop the smile from showing on his face. Yoochun must have been patiently waiting all morning to voice his confusion, he thought, especially when Yoochun started spitting out all of those questions.
“The first and only time he ever got drunk was the night Junho left home. I had just met him and with his phone battery dead, I didn’t know who to contact, so I took him back to my house. He talked about his family problems and yes, he did kiss me out of the blue. When I asked him if he remembered anything the following morning, he claimed that he didn’t.”
Yoochun wondered if that was still the case now. Forgetting would make things less awkward between them but, unfortunately, a lot of questions unanswered.
“The first time that night came up in conversation, he revealed that he had a dream. After he described his dream, I realized that it was everything that occurred that night, only his mind had painted it to resemble a dream. I don’t know why, but I never told him that everything in the dream, including the kiss, really happened. Till this day, he still thinks that it was all a dream.”
So Junsu does remember everything that happened last night, only he thinks that it’s all a dream, Yoochun mused.
“You know...” Jaejoong started, smiling in the process. “That’s not your first kiss with Junsu.”
Yoochun faced him with wide eyes. “What?!”
Jaejoong explained about the kiss between the two of them at Afterthoughts in the VIP room. Yoochun’s jaw dropped, his eyes blinking multiple times. He didn’t know what to think, except that if Junsu didn’t tell him about that first kiss, then he didn’t have to tell Junsu about their second kiss either.
While the younger was absorbing everything, Jaejoong reflected on his and Junsu’s friendship. He had known for a while now that his best friend had feelings of love for him. He knew he had broken Junsu’s heart yesterday when he finally admitted to being in love with Yunho. Jaejoong was affirmative that he was the reason why Junsu was drinking last night after Yoochun mentioned Junsu having a secret love.
The heartbreak had been necessary though. He had noticed Junsu’s actions since Yoochun came back into his life. Whether the hotelier would admit it or not, Jaejoong knows that there are feelings of love for Yoochun already deep within his friend’s heart. Someone just needed to open his eyes and if Jaejoong was ever going to win the heart of the man he dearly loved, now was the time to set the first stones in place.
He took a deep breath before saying, “Yoochun-ah, Junsu is not as scary as alcohol makes him out to be. He is rather fragile actually. Ever since Junho left, he has been alone. Everything that happened, overwhelmed him and I was the only one there for him, to lend an ear, a shoulder, so please try to understand what he is going through.”
Yoochun couldn't help but feel guilty since he was the reason for this whole thing but also he felt bothered hearing how close Jaejoong was to Junsu, not knowing why or even how his face showed his discomfort, which Jaejoong noticed immediately and smiled inwardly as it would make the rest of his words easier.
"Yoochun-ah, it wasn't your fault and Junsu doesn't blame you either. He just felt...abandoned by his brother--betrayed, even. I may be his best friend, however, I can't help but feel that you make a better companion for Junsu.”
Yoochun’s eyes widened for the umpteenth time that morning. What was Jaejoong suggesting?!
“The two of you share more in common than you think; you both lost someone dear to you and I don’t think either of you were given proper time to truly grieve over this loss. The two of you need to help each other come to terms with the loss of Junho and perhaps find some closure and move on with your lives, like Junsu coming out to his parents. He’s kept it from them for so long, I know it’s killing him inside.”
Yoochun lowered his eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks. Jaejoong didn’t like that he was making his friend cry and decided to change the topic to a lighter one.
“Maybe then, I would be able to finally pursue the one I love,” Jaejoong whispered his last phrase but Yoochun heard him.
While drying his tears, he repeated, “Love?” He then grabbed his glass of water and drank it to soothe his throat.
The older man simply laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Yes, love. I can’t be Junsu's rock all the time. I’ve gotta live my life, too. In fact, I happen to love a very handsome, accomplished, and caring man..." Jaejoong's voice lost the joy as he added "...the same man who happens to think he is in love with a dongsaeng of mine."
Yoochun failed to notice the quick glance from Jaejoong when he said that. The bar owner was quiet afterwards and it was enough time for Yoochun to understand who Jaejoong had in his heart. Maybe he is naive when it comes to business but he knows the matters of the heart, and he knew that it must be Yunho. He noticed how radiant Jaejoong gets around him. He reached for his friend’s hand in a comforting way.
“Give him time to see how you truly shine, hyung. I'm sure that he mistook those feelings for your dongsaeng as love. Just be a little more patient and he’ll look your way. Trust me." He smiled at Jaejoong while squeezing his hand for reassurance.
Hearing that, Jaejoong mentally cursed Junsu for not realizing his feelings for this man quicker.
As Yoochun took his leave, he repeated Yoochun’s own advice to him, “Yoochun-ah, please don't mind Junsu's outburst from last night. He, too, is mistaking his feelings and needs time to figure them out."
It was mostly what Yoochun spent time thinking about on the ride home with Driver Cho that he failed to notice that the Kim mercedes was being tailed by a black sedan.
When the light turned red at the intersection, the black sedan switched lanes to idle next to the mercedes. The passenger in the back seat turned to observe an unsuspecting Yoochun then to the newspaper in his hand. On the front page was an article about the upcoming Hugs & Kisses charity banquet.
“Hmm...I hope they have an open bar,” he murmured with a half smirk.